Damien: I just got an email from this man who said our blog was his secret guilty pleasure
Damien: He's like a professor at a College
Damien: And he's married
Gabe: Aw that's sweet
Damien: And he wears women's underwear and imagines having s*x with the both of us
Gabe: OK, now he's getting creepy
Damien: He says he'll pay us a lot of money and you only have to wear stockings and a girdle...
Gabe: *logs off*
Damien: This is Calvin Klein's new muse
Gabe: Parker is such a good boyfriend name
Damien: Dude, you are so desperate it's embarrassing
Damien: This guy's bicep is bigger than my - well - anything
Gabe: I'd like to have a go on him like a bouncy castle
Gabe: A bird flew straight into my window yesterday
Gabe: It freaked me out
Damien: Imagine what it must have felt like for the bird
Damien: Poor dead bird
Gabe: No, it didn't die
Gabe: It just looked pretty dazed
Gabe: And a little embarrassed
Gabe: Then it flew away again
Damien: Fly birdy, fly, let the sky be your salvation!
Damien: Actually, I hate birds
Damien: How do you know if you have cancer?
Gabe: I don't know
Gabe: Why?
Damien: No reason
Gabe: Did you feel a lump or something?
Damien: Every day, I'm touching it now
Gabe: *sighs*
Damien: Oh yeah, I'm touching my lump real good
Gabe: One day you'll get cancer and regret saying that
Gabe: It's called Karma
Damien: Well karma can go s@#k a f$>k
Gabe: *sighs again*
Damien: What's your President called again?
Gabe: We have a Prime Minster B^ttmunch
Damien: Gees, and I though "Bush" was an unfortunate name...
Damien: As Gabe would say, cheers to all the good folk who have linked to us.
Damien: We're not worthy.
Damien: Well, Gabe isn't.
Damien: Me, I should be looked after like a prince and given jewels and fine clothes and a waterbed and soforth.
Damien: Anyway, here's a sandy guy with freaky eyes to say thanks.
Gabe: I didn't get one email today
Gabe: Not one
Gabe: Not even any spam
Gabe: I wrote ten emails yesterday
Gabe: And didn't get one reply
Damien: Have you checked your outbox?
Gabe: Yeah, it's empty
Damien: That's weird
Gabe: Why?
Damien: No, I've just found a freckle in the shape of Rupert Everett on my ankle
Damien: It looks like he's smiling!!!!
Gabe: *logs off*
Damien: Hey Gabe you b^ttmunch, I smoke
Damien: And I don't taste bad
Damien: I'll have you know my saliva tastes naturally of vanilla and wild jojoba berries
Damien: Buttmunch
Gabe: Of course this guy looks hot, but his mouth would taste like an ashtray
Gabe: And believe me - I know what ashtray tastes like
Gabe: a truth or dare dare
Gabe: I'd rather not talk about it
Gabe: Except to say that afterwards Adam Joseph was made to take off his
Damien: What's your favorite word?
Gabe: Confabulate
Damien: Mine's buttinsky
Damien: So there's this new flick we got sent the pics for
Damien: These hot guys I get
Damien: Just, um, what's this scene all about?
Damien: Huh?
Gabe: Phantom gay pregnancy?
Damien: That's what I thought too
Gabe: It happened once to this guy I went to Scouts with
Damien: Do you think you think any of the guys we post pictures of on here have beautiful minds?
Damien: If they dance or write poetry?
Damien: Or are kind to animals
Damien: Or help home school their retarded neice?
Gabe: No one says ret@rded anymore
Gabe: And anyway, shush, I'm trying to look at p*rn
Gabe: Hey Brazil
Gabe: How about leaving some cute men for the rest of the world?
Gabe: Failing that you could at least send me a one way plane ticket...
Damien: Yowser, is it getting warm in here??
Damien: Thanks to Tommy for the heads up on this hotty.
Gabe: How often do you, you know...
Damien: What?
Damien: Floss?
Gabe: No, when you wake up...
Damien: Make a coffee?
Gabe: No, no, no
Damien: Eat breakfast?
Gabe: No I mean
Damien: What then?
Gabe: Have a... you know... when you
Damien: Jerk off?
Damien: You can say "@ssmaster" but not j*rk off???
Damien: Sheesh
Damien: Sometimes you're so English it hurts
Gabe: @ssmaster!!!
Damien: By the way, if you can't even say m@sturbate, you most definitely shouldn't be allowed to do it
Gabe: W@nk, w@nk, w@nk, w@nk!!!!!
Damien: The shirt and tie are a little Bugsy Mallone, but Matt, looking good.
Damien: Call me okay?
Damien: I have a long week ahead of me
Damien: And I don't know what I'd do without Seth
Damien: He's so my rock
Damien: And sweet! Always buying me little gifts
Damien: But J*sus H Chr*st
Damien: If he continues to leave his coffee mugs on my white furnishings
Damien: We will have to have a SERIOUS discussion about the future of our relationship
Gabe: Hey hey
Damien: Oh it's you
Gabe: Charming
Gabe: Anyway, I thought I was your fantasy boyfriend?
Damien: Quiet, Seth will hear you!!!!
Gabe: I have a confession to make
Gabe: I know only a handful of good UK gay blogs
Gabe: As a Brit, I feel like I'm letting the side down
Gabe: So if you know any cute English gay bloggers, email me the links:
Gabe: gobbeldygook AT gmail DOT com
Gabe: Or add it in the comments
Gabe: I'll check them out and add them to our list
Gabe: But until then
Gabe: Here's some picture of a cute blonde guy swinging on a rope
Gabe: Swing blondy! Swing!
Gabe: Oh yeah, that's it
Gabe: This has been a public announcement on behalf of the Pretty Boys
Damien: He was robbed, robbed
Damien: How hot would Henry Cavil have been as James Bond?
Gabe: It's a crying shame
Gabe: Sum this guy up in one word
Damien: lickhimupallover
Gabe: Nice
Gabe: Triple word score
Damien: Thank you thank you very much
Gabe: It's got very latino beefcake around here lately btw
Damien: It's a phase I'm going through
Gabe: Hey, I'm not complaining...
Damien: You know, I was going to post a pic of this really hot guy
Damien: But Blogger keeps stuffing up
Damien: So I'm going to recite a poem about hot guys instead -
Hot guy
You are really cute
Have a drink with me
And let me slip it up you.
Damien: I'm such a ret@rd
Damien: I just totally fell over gawking at this hot guy in the street
Gabe: What did he look like?
Damien: He was older, like late twenties
Damien: Long dirty blonde hair
Damien: Kinda grungy
Damien: Carrying a skateboard
Damien: Hot
Damien: He was totally checking me out too
Gabe: Really?
Damien: Yeah, well it was kind of hard not to
Damien: I managed to cause a three car pile up and buckle the back wheel on my bike
Gabe: Top effort
Damien: But least he looked!!
Gabe: So Daniel Craig is the new James Bond huh?
Gabe: He looks a bit, um, wizened
Gabe: But then I guess James Bond does have a lot on his plate
Gabe: I’d still do him though
Gabe: I might even sit on his Moonraker...
Gabe: My Mum says I should get out more
Gabe: She keeps reading about how sons are living with their parents until they're thirty
Gabe: She's worried if she doesn't push, I won't leave
Gabe: So she's only going to cook me one meal a day, not two
Damien: Sounds fair
Gabe: I don't know who these guys are but they're cute
Damien: I call the front one Sebastian Muckleboot
Damien: What time is it over there in England?
Gabe: 10.57pm
Gabe: What time is it in Boulder?
Damien: Shut up, I don't live in Boulder
Gabe: What? Yes you do!
Damien: No way, I live in L.A.!!
Gabe: What???
Damien: I commute to write the blog in Boulder, but I live in Los Angeles
Gabe: You are so full of sh*t
Damien: Gabriel Winger, it's using that kind of language which keeps you single
Gabe: @ss Master!
Damien: He can be my Commander in Chief any day
Gabe: I want to touch his little President
Damien: I want to play with his attorney General
Damien: That last one didn't really work, did it?
Gabe: No, but that's never stopped you before
Damien: *logs off*
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