Beer Belly

D: Thanks to All American Guys for the pic
G: If this was from All English Guys, he'd have a beer belly and be smoking a fag
D: Language Gabe!

Pad

D: So where's your new pad?
G: Elephant & Castle
D: That's hot

French Rugby Team

D: I found another nekkid french rugby team!
G: Have all my Summers come at once???
D: Sometimes I don't know if you're being sarcastic or not
G: As a general rule, I'm always being sarcastic
D: Good to know

Success!

G: I found a flat!
D: Oh congratulations!
D: My little boy is growing up!!

Orange You Glad to See Me

G: This guy's sweat is made of 5% water and 95% hot lovin'

Like them?

D: I'd like to spurt some webbing on him
G: I'd like to swing from the rafters with him
D: I'd like to insert a finger in him
D: Too far?
G: Oh yeah

Living on the Street

D: Want to play online checkers?
G: I won't be able to play online checkers when I'm living on the street, will I?
D: Of couse not
D: Everyone knows homeless people play yahtzee

Connected

G: How did you find your place?
D: Craiglist
G: How did you find your flatmate?
D: Myspace
G: I don't know what any of those words mean
D: Dope, you got' get connected
G: You know I hate it when you Gangsta speak
D: Sucka!
G: That's not even very good
D: This is a shout out to all dem homies!
G: Ok, fine

Thesaurus

G: And how's your Actor Crush thing going?
D: Aren't you reading it?
G: Sometimes
G: I find your humour a little derivative over there
D: Gees, did a thesaurus throw up on you today or something??

Overpowering

G: I saw one
D: How was it?
G: It wasn't that it was small, although it was, or that the ceilings were low, which they were, it was the overpowering sense of loneliness the abode communicated, as if on the brink of some lost chasm betwixt love and comfort, and anyone who entered found themselves dangling, helpless, over the very same precipice for always and a day.



D: So when do you move in?

The Fun You'll Have

G: I'm looking for a place
G: I can only afford a flat in a really dodgy area
G: In one of those group rabbit warren share places
D: Hey...
D: But think of the fun you'll have!
D: The smell of mildew and old socks
D: The random midnight banging next door
D: All your food mysteriously disappearing from the fridge
D: And you'll have your own place
D: To rest your head at night
D: Think how cool that'll be!!!
G: I wonder if it's too late to join the Navy

Gravity

G: Sometimes it gets too much and you just have to get down

Hot

D: That third guy is totally eyeing me up

Number One Son

G: OK, beat this
G: My Mother made me a Valentine's card
D: Yes, you definately win saddest mofo award
G: Woo! Three years running!

Love

G: Tomorrow...
D: I know...
G: It's such a waste of money
D: And so commercial
G: Still...
D: Yeah
G: Would have been nice...
D: Yeah
G: Next year huh?
D: Yeah
D: Next year

Dignity

G: I don't know where to move to
D: Do you have friends you could stay with?
G: I guess
G: We have Sky TV here though, and I have my room and my stuff - and food I like
G: None of my friends have all that
D: It was scary when I left home, but what you lose in comfort you gain in dignity
D: You have nothing to fear, except fear itself
D: End quote
G: Or maybe I could make Mum and Dad move out instead!
D: *sighs*

Time to Move

G: I think my Mother wants me to move out
D: Why's that?
G: She left me a note saying "I think you should move out"
D: Parents can be so cryptic sometimes

Math

D: What's 13,898 x 24?
G: Um...
G: Pass
D: I spent years learning stupid algebra and calculus
D: and for what?
G: It's supposed to make you smarter
D: Well it obviously didn't work
G: What were you trying to work out anyway?
D: Nothing
D: Just how many boys I'd like to butter the muffin with before I die
G: Figures

Models are Easy

G: Teeth so bright!
G: Blinding!
D: Mommy, my eyes!!!

D: This is fun, we haven't had a bitch together in ages
G: No we haven't
D: I mean, look at this guy - what, is he like perfect or something?
G: Um, I think we might have lost our touch

G: He is so excited to be wearing the hat
D: Or is the hat wearing him?

D: This guy's bulge is a lot like my sisters Ken doll
G: Your sisters Ken doll?
D: Alright, my Ken doll
D: My sister gave him to me as long as I promised not to steal Barbie's clothes again to dress him up in