31 December 2005

Dieux du stade 2006: Part One


G: Happy New Year for tomorrow!
D: Stop changing the subject
G: I'm not - but as luck would have it - here are some pics of the French rugby team in their pants! Enjoy!
D: In their pants?
G: We call pants underwear in England
D: Of course you do
D: Well Happy New Year England!
G: Happy New Year America!!!
D: And Gabe, we just can't wait to see you in your pants in 2006...

30 December 2005

Show us your Underwear

G: How do you know this isn't a picture of me in my boxers?
D: Because that's Brandon from the Amazing Race
G: Who?
D: And anyway, I have a feeling - call it gut instinct even - that you have legs like a sh@ved monkey
D: Hahahaahaahahh
G: Spu^k bubble!!!

Pants

D: You heard the good folk Gabe
D: They want to see pictures of you in your new underwear
G: You'd love that, wouldn't you
D: Hey, this has nothing to do with me
D: I'm merely a spokesperson!
D: Now t@ke of your pants

29 December 2005

Underwear

Damien: So what presents did you get?

Gabe: Underwear mostly

G: I was slightly disturbed that Nanna gave me silk boxer shorts with the words "big b0y" written all over them

D: R@ndy ol' Nanna

D: Did she ask you to model the underwear too?

G: No

G: *shudders*

23 December 2005

Have Yourself A Carlson Twins Kinda Christmas



G: And remember, the Carlson twins aren't just for Christmas, they're for life
D: Have a Merry Christmas and we'll see you in a few days y'all

22 December 2005

It's a Date

G: I didn't mean to get down before
D: No, it's good
D: I'm getting to know the real you
G: Yeah, miserable old Gabe
D: Promise me one thing?
D: Even if it's in twenty years, the moment you come to the US you'll let me know and we can have a drink. Even if you're married with kids or something. Even if you're bald.
G: He he - sure
G: It's a date

Ex-Boyfriend

G: OK, I'll tell you

G: My last date was two weeks ago

G: With an ex-boyfriend I still have feelings for

G: I just wanted to see him

G: To see... I don't know... it was stupid I guess

D: Is there going to some inappropriate punch line soon?

G: No, no punch line

G: Sometimes real life just isn't very funny

21 December 2005

Cute Guy at Starbucks

D: The cute guy at Starbucks with the curly hair totally winked at me today!!!
G: Either that or he had coffee bean dust in his eye
D: No, he totally winked
D: One moment his eye was open, the next - closed
G: Maybe he was having a small str0ke?
D: You know, being mean is just a sign of insecur1ty

20 December 2005

Blond Guy Tuesday

D: It took me ages to find a blond guy I was really happy with this week
G: You did well
D: I have a certain standard I like to keep

Actor Watch: Daniel Sunjata 2

G: What word begins with the letter "F" and ends in "UCK"?
G: Firetruck

G: Thank you ladies and gentlemen, thank you and goodnight

19 December 2005

White Bread

G: We don't have enough hot black men on here
D: I know, we don't
G: We're pretty white bread come to think of it

Actor Watch: Daniel Sunjata

G: I watched the Woody Allen film Melinda and Melinda last night, and I thought the actor Daniel Sunjata was gorgeous. There is simply no other word for him.

18 December 2005

Recent Date

G: Ok, I'll tell you
G: It was last week
D: What was?
G: My last date
G: I was going to have prunes, but they were all out
D: You know - you're about as funny as mould sometimes

The Dating Game

D: No really, when was the last time you went on a date?
G: Um...
G: Does it count as a date if afterwards you still don't know their name?
D: Gabe, computer dating is only cool if you're a computer

17 December 2005

Dating

D: When was the last time you went on a date?
G: We don't really date here in the UK
G: We just drink a few John Smiths and t0uch each other up under the table
D: Boy, I find your culture so charming...

16 December 2005

Sea Breeze

D: If you hold him to your ear, you can hear the ocean

More Sean Maher


G: Sean Maher still hasn't arrived yet
G: But I'm sure looking forward to unwrapping him when he does...

15 December 2005

The Casting Couch: Craig

D: OMFG - how is his hair doing that?
G: I think he's wearing a wire hair piece

D: Hot bod though
D: I wonder if his hair's as sculpted down below
G: This is his profile - "I currently have no modelling experience but feel I would suit any role that is require. I assure you will get plenty out of me and I am will always give my best."
D: Get plenty out of me! Ha ha haha

G: Ah the famous digital photo taken in the mirror routine
D: I totally want to c0me on his chest
G: Gross
D: And then wipe it in his hair
G: From the look of it, I think someone might have already beaten you to it

Coal

D: The Starbucks guy said Merry Christmas to me today!
G: Wow. You guys are practically dating.
D: Oh yeah, you're getting a whole lotta coal in your stocking this year buddy

14 December 2005

Don't Be Shy

Damien: These pics are in honor of all our guests from HunkHunter
Gabe: Woo! Take it off!

Sean Maher




G: What are you going to get me for Christmas?
D: Would you like me to wrap Sean Maher and his dark Irish good looks, or just post him over with a bow around his neck?
G: Um, either's fine

13 December 2005

Blonde Guy Tuesday

D: Shaggy much?
G: Shaggy - or shag him?
D: He's all yours

Presents


D: I haven't bought any presents yet
D: I'm beginning to panic
G: Just do what I do
G: Tell your family you love them very much, but you don't think they deserve any gifts this year
G: They'll appreciate your honesty
D: I don't think that will work on my family
D: Gift giving is the glue that holds us together
D: It makes up for not being very nice to each other for the following 364 days

11 December 2005

Red


Gabe: That's like art, that is

09 December 2005

Sausages

Gabe: That reminds me, I think I'm going to have sausages for tea tonight

08 December 2005

The Casting Couch: Lee

Gabe: Hi Lee
Damien: Hi Lee
Gabe: So Lee, are you single?
Damien: Yeah are you like single?

Gabe: No reason - oh isn't this picture of Lee and his Mum precious?
Damien: I just want to eat him up! Lee, I want to eat you up!

Gabe: So I think we've seen enough. Thanks for coming in, call us - I mean we'll call you
Damien: Yeah bye Lee. Bye Lee. Lee? Bye! Bye Lee! Bye!

07 December 2005

Froth

Damien: I'm over guys
Damien: The starbucks boy didn't even smile at me today
Gabe: There's a starbucks guy?
Damien: He gives me extra froth in my cuppachino
Gabe: hahhahhahahaha
Damien: What? He does!

Into the World

Damien: What does your name mean?
Gabe: "God is my strength"
Damien: No way! My name means "God is my Judge"
Gabe: Our parents really had no idea what they were bringing into the world, did they?
Damien: Not a clue

06 December 2005

Blonde Guy Tuesday

Damien: Wow
Damien: He is so hot
Gabe: I'd give him a round of applause if I wasn't busy touching myself

Married

Gabe: We can get married in this country now
Damien: Really? Cool!!!!!!
Gabe: You do know, when I say "we" I mean us gays in general
Damien: Of course!!!!!!!
Gabe: Um, you're using a lot of exclamation marks
Damien: I know!!! And I can't seem to stop!!!!!!!!!

05 December 2005

Owen Wilson

Damien: This is one of the only pictures I could find of Owen Wilson that didn't make me want to slap him
Gabe: Aw, don't be mean
Gabe: I want to kiss his nose better

Apologized

Damien: Well I talked to Adam

Damien: His Mother lured him home with meatloaf

Damien: And when he was too full to move I went in and apologized

Gabe: Aw

Damien: It took all my powers not to say anything about his horrible, horrible loafers

Gabe: You did well

Damien: I mean loafers? Why doesn't he wear them with Bermuda shorts and be done with it...

04 December 2005

Chris Evans

Gabe: Chris Evans just wants to borrow your mobile to text his friend, honest

Emergency Measures

Damien: This is getting silly

Damien: Adam's blocked me from Messenger

Gabe: Oh no

Gabe: That's the final nail in the coffin

Damien: It means I'm going to have to take emergency measures!

Gabe: Like what?

Damien: I'm going to have to ring his Mum

Gabe: Good move, getting his Mother involved is sure to win back his friendship

Damien: Oh, she loves me

Damien: She always called me the gay son she hoped she never had

02 December 2005

Doctors & Nurses

Gabe: Who is Adam anyway?

Gabe: You've never mentioned him before

Damien: Oh we go way back

Damien: His big sister used to babysit me

Damien: And he lived over the road

Damien: We used to play Doctors and Nurses together

Gabe: Oh, I see

Damien: Yeah, it was a shame he never got into Medical School. He had such soft hands

Gabe: I bet

Damien: Of course he has a girlfriend now

Gabe: He's straight?

Damien: I know, and he wears cutoffs!! Insane, right?