Write a Movie

D: You know the writer of Juno
D: Is a blogger?
G: No I did not
D: Well she is
D: And she's like totally rich now

G: Wait for it...
D: Hey - maybe we should write a movie!
G: There you go

Plummeted

D: We have a reader's question
G: Woo!
D: Ahem
D: "what's your guy's secret? do you rehearse what you put on the blog? or do you just chat randomly on messenger until you find something funny to put in."
D: You wanna answer this one?
G: Dear reader
G: You might have noticed
G: That the quality of funny here
G: Has plummeted since the Writers' Strike
G: Coincidence??
D: OK, that's enough Columbo

Add Baby Oil

D: OK
D: So how did you hurt your ankle?
G: Well by the the time you add baby oil
G: And alcohol to the proceedings
G: It's really only a matter of time

Left Foot Blue

D: OK
D: Obligs
D: Go
G: Christmas with the boyf
G: New Years in Cornwall
G: Twisted my ankle playing twister
D: Is that last one for reals?
G: Left foot blue Damien
G: Left. Foot. Blue.

Because You Love

D: Can I just draw your attention
D: To the banner on the right
D: Playgirl:
D: Because You Love Cock
G: Says it all really
D: Well they've done their market research
D: I'll give them that

Not Dead

D: WE'RE NOT DEAD BEEOTCHES
G: Yeah!
G: Pretty Bois 4 Evas!!!!!1!!

2Damien00Damien8

G: Have a great Christmas everyone!
D: Woo!
D: 2Damien00Damien8!!
G: Um, what?
D: Just that, next year
D: It's gonna be a good one
D: I can feel it
G: What, how?
D: Well, it's got my name written all over it
G: ...

Guy # 3

G: Craig is neither too short
G: Nor too tall
G: Too fat or too thin
G: He's a great guy is Craig
G: Yes with him you will grin

D: Yeah, um
D: Points for poetry
D: But I knew a Craig once
D: And he was a total butt
D: Not in a good way either

Guy # 2

G: Him?
D: OK, he’s tall
D: I’ll give him that
G: Medically he’s a giant
D: I don’t know
D: He’d be all “vertically superior” to me
G: Is that even a thing?
D: It is now
G: *sighs*

Guy # 1

G: I have a contender
G: He's half Italian, half Irish
D: Interesting mix, keep talking
G: He travelled around Europe a few years back
G: And works in advertising now
D: Let me see...
D: Way too short!
D: Next!!