I Know

D: My sister emailed me today
D: She is such an assbag
D: All it said was "I know"
G: Have you told her you're a grasseater?
D: Like, when I was three
G: Maybe she found the blog
D: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Sorta Movie

G: This vid is from the film Shortbus
D: Racy!
G: Have you seen it?
D: It's the sorta movie
D: I'd like to watch in the comfort of my own home
D: If. You. Know. What. I. Mean.
G: What's a shortbus?
D: That's easy
D: You'd ride one if you lived here
G: It's an actual bus?
G: I thought it meant a small willy or something

Exhibit A

D: FYI kids
D: Smoking is NOT sexy
D: Exhibit A
G: Yes
G: What he said

The Thong

G: I've just sent some underwear
G: From some company called Apollowear
D: Oh yeah
D: They mailed me
D: I gave them your address
D: Did you get the thong?
G: That's for a man?
D: Or you
D: Whatever

If We Lose

D: What if we lose our edge?
G: What edge?
D: You know
D: The hunger
D: The passion
D: The drive of being single
G: I don't think I ever had one'a them
D: Come to think of it, neither do I

Men in our Lives

D: Now both of us have men in our lives
G: Yup


D: Do you think we're the husbands or the wives?
G: Definately the wives

Never Can

G: Good Lord
G: Will you look at his legs?
D: Is this soccer or rugby we're watching?
D: I never can tell

John Boy

G: I went on a date with John
D: What? Who?
G: You remember, he emailed?
G: The designer? Signed off "keep the peace"?
D: Oh, ok. Him.
D: His name is John huh?

D: John Boy

D: Johnny Appleseed

D: Ol' Faggoty Anne Jimbo-John Boots
G: Damien...

Petty Boys Club

D: Ha
G: What?
D: I've just found a blog that's linked us as
D: "the Petty Boys Club"

Hungry Gay Tigers

D: So are you still internet dating?
D: That's so "You've Got Mail"
G: Well I wouldn't call it "dating" per se
G: I'd describe it more
G: As dangling my fragile ego on a string
G: Above a pit of hungry gay tigers

Rant

G: For no particular reason
G: Here are my five rants about Gaydar
G: 1. If you're 30+ you can no longer use the phrase "lad", "boy" or "kid" in your profile name. Sorry. Change it to "guy", "man" or at the very least, "dude".
G: 2. Are you really horny all the time? Really, honestly? When you're on the phone to your Gran, for example? Think about this.
G: 3. OK, we get it, you're straight acting. (Although, as the line goes, "methinks the lady doeth protest too much"…)
G: 4. Writing "got one" in your job title is as hilarious now as it was in, oh well, never.
G: 5. Don't listen to anyone - we all LOVE the cock pics...
D: Someone make fun of your hairlip again huh G Man?

Resolutions

D: Resolutions?
G: I'm going to live each day to its fullest:
G: Work like I own the company
G: Dance like no one's watching
G: Wank like nobody's listening
D: All at the same time?
D: Your boss is in for a treat